Here's A Shock for Women

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The resolve of even the most committed dads can be sorely tested by young children. They discover what women have known all along: Raising kids is a difficult, often thankless job. Brian Shanahan, 41, wistfully recalls his days at Cummins West, where he was an owner and vice president of the Cummins engine distributor. "Your employees listen to you," says Shanahan, who stays home with Casey, 6, and Riley, 4, while Lauri, 39, works as general counsel at Gap. "These two little girls-they don't work for me. I work for them. I can't fire them." He gets frustrated by his girls' many wardrobe changes as he's trying to hurry them out the door. When they want him to play Barbie, he asks if they can play Barbie with cars.

It should be no surprise that the same things that long drove housewives crazy also plague househusbands家庭主夫 — a husband who keeps the house: isolation, lack of intellectual stimulation, lack of appreciation. "If you have too much time to think about it, you can eat yourself alive," says Shanahan. He was nearly accosted by a guy at a carwash when the man realized they were fellow stay-at-home dads. "He was so excited he practically jumped out of his skin," says Shanahan. So the men keep busy. Steve Sueltz volunteers at Kathleen's school and at a senior citizen center. Lepore's husband does some consulting and builds websites for his son's school and the family's church.