Library Elise Sutton

Female Supremacy Articles - Page 18

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A significant difference in job status or income can affect acceptance by family, friends and co-workers, as well as money issues and societal expectations, all of which play a part in how couples get along.

"Money is always a big issue in marriages in terms of conflict, and it can be a greater issue in these kinds of relationships," says Debra Stern, a Chicago-area licensed clinical social worker and marriage and family therapist. "Money translates into power, so whoever makes the most money often feels — rightly or wrongly — that they have more power in the relationship. Or the other person thinks so. That's the challenge."

It's a challenge that doomed Mary Kier's marriage to a postman.

Ms. Kier, executive vice-president of a Chicago executive search company, met her then-husband when they were in their early 20s and both worked in retail. But while she moved into the executive search field and a corporate existence, he lost his job and eventually took a position with the U.S. Postal Service. "At one point, I earned more than 10 times more than he did," Ms. Kier says.

Meanwhile, her husband forbade her to talk about her work at home. "It wouldn't have been hard if I felt he wanted to share my life or share the day-to-day things that made my life exciting and interesting. I tried hard to dumb down to what he was interested in, whether it was bowling or hanging out at a bar with his friends. But it never worked."

DIVERGENT PATHS