Real Life Stories - Entries for February 2007

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After I got done reading the book, I wrote what amounted to my version of a confessional letter and sent it to her. The letter spurred another of what my wife called a "sexual discussion", resulting in her asking ‘what did I want from her?’ I asked only that she read the book and then we could talk about it. You should know that my wife and I are good communicators (for the most part) but that "talking" about sex was not something she liked to do. I knew it, she knew it, so it was not anything new, but it still resulted in neither of us feeling good about it.

So she took the book and eventually read it. I kept mum, not wanting to push. After a few weeks I asked what she thought of the book. I received a similar reply to her review of the web page. "It was interesting", she said. I told her that I thought it was something that maybe we ought to try and see if it works for us. Her response floored me. She said she thought we already had that kind of a relationship as it was, and that she really didn’t want to be "in-charge" all the time.

The reality was, no we did not lead a female led relationship. But to be fair, I can see how she thought so. Because she is often dominant in the bedroom, and the fact that she pays the bills on a monthly basis, she thinks we already have what their book describes. The missing key element was the agreed to commitment and the sexual charge, or energy, from knowing that she’s the leader of the household.