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The transition is easier for some than others. Dawn Lepore's husband, Ken, 55, recalls the day his boss at Schwab delivered good news: Dawn, 48, would be promoted. The bad news was that Ken would now be reporting to her, which was against company policy. He had to leave, but he handled it well, since in his heart he knew he was a techie, not a manager. "It was kind of like the Peter Principle," says Ken. "You get promoted up to your inability. Well, there I was. I wasn't doing what I wanted. I wasn't very good at it anyway. It wasn't fun." He took a job at Visa, where he spent 12 hours a day working with computers. When he retired early after son Andrew was born four years ago, the hardest part wasn't giving up a title or a paycheck but the work he loved.

Men usually find it easier to reverse roles if they've firmly established their own careers. Lloyd Bean was a 14-year veteran of Xerox when Ursula Burns arrived at the company. After they married, his wife quickly surpassed him. How did Bean, 63, deal with her rapid ascent? "I was rooting for her," he says. "There's no way you could try to hold somebody like that back." Bean, a respected researcher with a string of patents to his name, retired early last year to spend more time with their two children, 13 and 9, as his wife's duties and travel expanded. "Wherever we go, people know I'm a vice president and he's a scientist," says Burns, 44. "I think the cover here is that he's the brain guy."