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Staying home is harder for men who feel they don't have much choice. Terry Brennan, 54, is a systems engineer who was laid off when his company was acquired last year. His wife, Susan, 40, is a director of manufacturing at Ford who works for Anne Stevens. They have a 3-year-old son and a baby due any day. Since Susan's job requires weekly travel, it made sense for Terry to stay home instead of looking for a job in an ailing industry. He has seen friends move around the country for jobs only to lose them again. He badly wants to do the right thing for his family. Still, staying home is a jolt to his ego. When Susan explains Terry's new role to friends who ask about it, he sometimes won't speak to her for hours. "It's taking a while to adjust to this," he admits. "I've been programmed all my life to be a provider. I'm becoming a domestic god." Terry, who grew up with four brothers, says, "My father still doesn't know a washer from a dryer."