Real Life Stories - May 2015

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Since I was fortunate to be picked by Her, I know that I exist to be Her slave奴隶 — a person kept in total obedience, obey Her, worship崇拜侍奉 — adoring service Her and serve Her. But some other part of myself resists. For instance, we recently decided to buy a house. My wife chose a house which I told Her I was not entirely convinced of. She said we would buy it anyway. I knew I would obey Her decision, but I immediately felt a deep sense of unfairness, fearing that She did not care about what I thought. I took the next opportunity to let Her know about my reservations, and then She said that if I was not convinced, we would not buy the house. This released entirely my fear, because I realized that She cared for my opinion. Since then I submitted entirely to Her decision. But I wonder how I can suppress this resistance that I still feel when I have to submit completely, and I wonder whether this is why She is not dominating me further.

So my questions are as follows :

1. Do I really exist to be my wife's slave奴隶 — a person kept in total obedience or is this only a fantasy of mine?

2. By displaying my submissiveness, am I not putting Her in a position where She cannot express Her own inner fantasies?

3. Does my wife sense my inner resistances to submit fully and what can I do to suppress these and surrender completely?

4. Should I press forward my goal of being my wife's slave奴隶 — a person kept in total obedience, or should I let Her drive this at Her own speed (after all She is superior and knows better)

5. If my Wife is not happy with dominating me, should I refrain from wishing it?