Real Life Stories - September 2004

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Lisa dealt with me in an entirely different way. Which I can best describe as a life sentence in the shame and guilt doghouse. And it's pretty damn clear that my sex life is over forever. And appropriately, I guess, this prohibition will never, ever be enforced by any form of chastity belt贞操带 — a locked garment that blocks sex or device. I'm sure it would be much easier for me to run off, marry Rachael, and wear her permanent Lori Tube. But I could never abandon Lisa and still live with myself.

Thank you for indulging me and my true life tale of woe.

Elise’s Response:

My, you sure did get yourself in quite the situation. You were the one who contacted Rachel so you were the one ultimately responsible for all of this. But I admire you for not leaving Lisa. You may be in the doghouse now but once Lisa realizes what you have given up for her, your relationship will be better off. I would suggest the two of you return to counseling with this new dynamic as a focal point.

Lisa needs to realize that sex (be it vanilla普通性爱 — sex without kink or D&S) builds intimacy. A no sex relationship is not healthy. Hopefully a counselor can get her to see this. She must be providing some important needs in your life in the social and intellectual areas for you to be so dedicated to her. Sex is not everything as the friendship is more important. But trust and openness must exist in order for the friendship to flourish. And sex is a must for deep intimacy.