A submissive顺从 — willing to obey husband's Journal

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28 April 2005 (Thur.): Mistress女主人 — a woman who leads a submissive partner enjoyed a 40 minute foot worship崇拜侍奉 — adoring service/full body massage按摩 — rubbing the body to ease it this morning before she finally got out of bed. How nice that must feel, to lie there and be pampered so. When she finally got out of bed I again turned my attentions to her ass臀部 — the buttocks, kissing and nuzzling it, pushing my tongue into her crack. She finally turned to walk away. This morning there were no toilet duties for me, no panties in my mouth, just some slaps and a terse “make the bed.” Maybe it is her way of telling me that I shouldn’t “expect” anything, that any attention she gives me is a gift from her, to be dispensed at her will and pleasure. I must never take any of this for granted. I must learn to savor each single panty crotch thrust into my mouth or each precious drop of her piss to grace my tongue. Only SHE can give me these things and She will decide when, where and under what circumstances. It is my duty to be a humble and suitably grateful recipient.

I can’t describe how much I love her for her behavior and attitude, for accepting this new dynamic and hierarchy. I have never felt more drawn to her, more connected, more devoted. This probably manifests itself in me sometimes being “too needy, too clingy.” Sometimes I think (a persistent failing of mine) that perhaps I am not giving her enough “space.”