Real Stories - May 2005

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Each workday she would call or email me several times at the office and loudly demand explanations for any missed calls or delayed responses. She randomly appeared at lunchtime to make certain that I indeed ate my prepared lunch and had no secret female lunch companions. She also insisted that I be waiting for her to arrive at the subway station in the evening for the trip home, promptly at 5:05PM, regardless of what time she actually left her office. Oftentimes, if she ran late, she would ask a homeward-bound female co-worker to find me in the station and remind me to wait for her.

On one occasion, Anna worked considerably late into the evening, and asked her colleague Mary (who lived in our neighborhood) to accompany me homeward. I cannot say whether Mary knew of the true nature of the relationship Anna and I had, but it was clear from her tone of voice that she spoke with the full weight of Anna's direction and expected to be obeyed. Perhaps she thought I was truly a bumbler who could not find his way home without female guidance, or she simply assumed that any long-term boyfriend of Anna's was naturally obedient. But in any case, it was embarrassing to feel the vicarious weight of Anna's presence through Mary. I feared that she would embellish or fabricate stories of recalcitrance on my part, and felt the powerlessness of a child seeking to appease a sadistic baby sitter.