Real Stories - October 2005

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After about fourth months of dating, I received an emotional telephone call from Shelly. She had gone to a special evening service at her church where they delivered a fire and brimstone sermon surrounding fornication, masturbation, and the evils of extramarital sex. She was very upset and explained that continuing to have sex with me was a sin and that we would both go to Hell if we didn’t stop. Wishing to be supportive, and somewhat curious about where this might lead us, I agreed to meet with her minister for counseling. I think her mother might have arranged this meeting.

Shelly had a lot of questions for the Reverend, and I could tell that he was accustomed to having this session with fifteen year olds. He had that look on his face that a fisherman must have when he snares a dolphin in his fishing net. Shelly listened intently as he laid it all out. He explained that sex or fantasy outside of marriage is a grave sin and that we can avoid temptation in the following ways: 1) Pray often and intensely. 2) Avoid sexual imagery in movies, TV shows, underwear magazines, and at the beach/pool. 3) Avoid sexual fantasies about others and about each other even if we become engaged 4) Avoid deep kissing and “petting” as these are foreplay 5) Kissing is a means of communication of affection and should not be deep or arousing before marriage. His attack on masturbation was equally thorough.