Q&A Forum - April 2010 (The best of Elise)

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Q. Elise, my husband and I have practiced the femdom女性支配 — female domination lifestyle for almost two years, off and on. My husband was the one to turn me on to it and although I was not responsive in the beginning, I have come to enjoy it. I subscribe to you e-zine and have performed some of your procedures.

My question is in regards to our relationship. When we began practicing femdom女性支配 — female domination almost two years ago our connection was amazing, the best we have had in 10 years of marriage. Over the last year we seem to have what I believe to be communication problems. He still struggles with feelings of shame for desiring this lifestyle or certain fetishes恋物 — a strong sexual focus on one thing and although I have supported him, when I am unable to be attentive to our "lifestyle" our whole relationship seems to crumble. Each time there has been a problem he says he is through with this lifestyle.

After about a week and many long talks he begins to drop hints about wanting it again. Each time this has happened it has almost cost us our marriage. We have tried to communicate our needs from this lifestyle and ways we can make it work but we seem to end up back at square one each time. I try to stay attentive to the lifestyle but we have three children and I go to school.

Are we setting ourselves up for failure each time? How can we work past this to achieve the lifestyle we are looking for? I appreciate any insight an outside view may provide.