Q&A Forum - August/September 2016 (Best of Elise)

Screen 8 of 29

It sounds as if your wife has been opened minded to exploring this lifestyle with you but you are expecting too much, too fast. My advice to you is to stop topping from below. Show her the benefits of your submission by being her helpmate. Keep the lines of communication open and share with her what you desire in the bedroom but then you must respect her authority and accept whatever she decides. And for goodness sake, if she agrees to deny you, don’t make it a burden on her by forcing yourself on her when she is not in the mood. The denial process will produce passion within you but channel that passion outside the bedroom. It sounds like she could use some help around the house. Remove some of the stress from her life and perhaps she will be free to devote more time to this lifestyle. Best wishes.

Q. Dear Ms Sutton, I find meditation really difficult. I feel uncomfortable, I’m constantly distracted by thoughts, sounds etc so that I stay at the conscious level most of the time, sometimes getting quite annoyed with myself. Occasionally, if I can relax enough, there is a sort of muscular letting go that occurs and I start to just experience being rather than trying. It causes a sort of opening up, of allowing things to happen rather than trying to make them happen.