Q&A Forum - December 2009 (The best of Elise)

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However, you must respect her ideals and her morals. She wants to become self-sufficient in the area of her finances and that shows wisdom on her part. For if she were to become financially dependent on you, it would alter the dynamics of your relationship. What if you chose to end the relationship? If she became dependent on you financially, you would hold the power in the relationship. If you were married and she had legal access to your finances, that would be one thing. But given the current status of your relationship, I think she is wise to refuse your most generous offer. I do think she is probably making a mistake by not accepting a financial gift from you in cases of emergencies, like when her car breaks down. Your offer is out of a servant’s heart and I see no difference in you buying her a new car battery or a gift for her children. But I think she is demonstrating her intelligence by refusing to allow you to support her financially.

She has the power in this relationship and she loves having the power. Once she would become financially dependent on you without any legal rights of her own to those finances, she would lose a good deal of her power in this relationship. And it is the fact that she holds the power that makes this arrangement fulfilling to you as a submissive顺从 — willing to obey male.