Q&A Forum - December 2019 (Best of Elise)

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However, I have found recently that I have achieved this state of being much more frequently when licking my wife's pussy阴部 — the vulva ('yoni', we call it, in the tantric tradition). If I place one hand on her pelvic bone, the other hand on her heart while my lips kiss, blow and make love, it seems easy to devote myself to love. I lose that self-consciousness that so often gets in the way of our pleasure. We all spend so much time trying to 'do' something that we forget just to be there. Making love has nothing to do with achievement. It is a spiritual experience of giving to each other, without expectations.

Men tend by nature to grit their teeth and hope for the best when they have sex but, as we are all starting to learn as a species, it is ultimately desperately unfulfilling and it is only by becoming less goal-oriented that you can achieve this space that your readers call sub顺从者 — a submissive person-space. I don’t actually like the term at all as I think it fails to recognize the spiritual element of loving through the purity of giving. I am reading a lot about Taoist Chinese sexuality now and I am sure that what we now call Femdom女性支配 — female domination or BDSM is moving in the direction of a spiritualization of sexuality and love relationships.

So now, I don’t bother with a lot of this candle gazing. Finding nirvana between my wife's legs is quite enough!!! Best regards and thanks for your pioneering work.