Question and Answer Forum - Page 6

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Q. Elise, I have read a lot about submissive顺从 — willing to obey men but have not come across the ideas that seem to be at the heart of my current boyfriends cravings. He needs to be told that I do not LOVE him and that I do not NEED him. He has opened up about his submissive顺从 — willing to obey desires and I have embraced this lifestyle. Since I have, he says that it is the best sex of his life. It also has released something in me that had been dormant most of my life and it has set me free. Yet, he will not make a commitment to either me or this relationship. From your experience, is this typical of submissive顺从 — willing to obey men? From what I have read, aside from the unworthiness insinuated by these statements, this particular need seems to be atypical. It feels more like commitment phobia. Is there a correlation between commitment phobia and submissive顺从 — willing to obey men?

A. It is common for a submissive顺从 — willing to obey man who is into humiliation羞辱 — shame given on purpose to desire to hear mean and even hateful comments during sex or a "scene". However, it is rare for a man to want to hear from the woman that he loves, "I do not love you". That is not humiliation羞辱 — shame given on purpose play, in my opinion, but rather it sounds like he is trying to push you away from him because he wants to be used by a woman that has no feelings for him. This relieves him from any responsibilities and commitments that a loving relationship entails. It seems that he wants you to be the fulfillment of his D&S fantasy but he is not interested in a loving relationship.