Q&A Forum - January 2019

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“Searching for Wanda” is not an anti-masochism book. It is an honest look at masochism and through the real experiences of others, it tells the readers to “watch out for the rattlesnakes”. I think the life of Leopold von Sacher-Masoch should be celebrated. He should not be looked at as a sexual deviant, no more than any one else who practices an alternative sexuality should be looked upon as a sexual deviant. Yet, we can learn from Leopold’s failings and his shortcomings, just like we can learn from all those wonderful people who were willing to share their experiences in the book, both positive and negative experiences.

I will admit that “Searching for Wanda” tells of many relationships that do not have a happy ending, but if you go back and read it again, I would challenge you to look at how many people, especially the women who were involved with hardcore masochists, grew from those experiences and put what they learned into their future successful relationships.

What I am most concerned about, and what was a big motivating factor in writing this book, are the masochists who cannot separate fantasy from reality and those who allow their quest for “unloving female authority” to wreck the potential for a successful FemDom女性支配 — female domination relationship. That is the danger of masochism and that is why I feel this is an important book. Thanks for the question.