Q&A Forum - January 2003

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My question to you is where does this need come from in a man - I do agree it was courageous of him to share this need with me. I see it as a sexual need, because that is where it seems to initiate from although your article indicates it is deeper. How do I respond when I cannot see the benefits for me that you say are there. I am resistant to this process, because it doesn't feel right. I would like some suggestions to open up a meaningful relationship. My husband has chosen to seek out his submissive顺从 — willing to obey release with another woman.

A. The benefits to the wife are endless. You are where most women in this lifestyle once were. It starts out being about your husband's sexual needs and desires. However, his needs and desires are rooted in his desire to serve a woman, namely you. The big question is how do you desire to be served?

What I would do is I would have an open discussion with him and tell him that you are willing to dominate him but it will be your way or no way. First, forbid him to see Pro Doms or other women. If he violates your rules, you will no longer dominate him in the bedroom.

Next, have him serve you in ways that are beneficial to you. Have him draw you a bubble bath and bathe you. Then have him towel you off, apply lotion to your body, blow dry and brush your hair, give you a massage按摩 — rubbing the body to ease it and orally pleasure you. Such an exercise usually draws out the submissive顺从 — willing to obey nature in a man.