Q&A Forum - July 2012

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However, our areas of expertise, or departments, if you will, do not necessarily extend to all the domestic issues we encounter; and therein lies the rub. Now my wife is a very intelligent and capable woman, but that doesn't always prevent me from attempting to be preeminent regarding those "unassigned" areas that do not fall into either of our departments. It's not that I don't trust my wife's judgment, in fact I do, it just seems that due to my profession, which involves decision making all day long, I've developed the habit of automatically attempting to make the decisions for both of us.

As you can imagine, this habit does not necessarily sit well with my wife, and she employs both subtle and some not so subtle psychological and other means to encourage me to see things her way. For example, if I insist on a particular course of action with which she disagrees, I may receive the "silent treatment" until I relent. But when I do relent, she is magnanimous in acknowledging that I have corrected the error of my ways and congratulates me on my wisdom and generally rewards me with a complete and immediate change in her behavior towards me. I have noticed her employment of this tactic more and more lately, and I actually find myself becoming conditioned to either relent in my prior decision or even to adopt her "recommendation" from the start. Interestingly, I have also noticed her efforts to gain ascendance in those areas I always considered to be my "department".