Q&A Forum - May 2010 (The best of Elise)

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But even if the woman never responds favorably to the idea of D&S in the bedroom, there is nothing wrong with a man sacrificing for the good of this wife and his marriage. In fact, that is an act of true submission. It is when the win/win is not always apparent that sacrifice is required and that in itself may trigger a man’s submissive顺从 — willing to obey nature and transport him to subspace or provide a form of submissive顺从 — willing to obey fulfillment. The alternative is much worse. Brian was not at peace seeking submissive顺从 — willing to obey fulfillment outside his marriage. Perhaps in the short-term he was but not in the long-term. He wanted to submit to the woman he loved and I was telling him that he can, even if she never accepts it in terms of D&S, she may accept it in the terms of romance and husbandly devotion.

I understand about hard-wired submissive顺从 — willing to obey males and my heart goes out to men who need to be dominated so badly but cannot gain it with the woman they love. My advice to Brian had a slight rebuke to his wife as she began to explore his submissive顺从 — willing to obey nature only to pull back. That is hard on a man and like I said, sometimes men make bad judgments and do things they would never do otherwise because the woman, who should be their authority, refuses to be open about something that is so important to her man. But many men fail to address this situation during the courtship so the woman marries them under a false pretense, and in these cases, you cannot fault the woman.