Q&A Forum - May 2012 (The best of Elise)

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Several months ago I began corresponding with a man 14 years my junior. We spoke on the phone a number of times and I agreed to meet him. He became anxious and backed out of the meeting and we were not in touch for several months. He re-emerged and asked for "another chance" and though I would typically not consider that, there was something very genuine about him so I agreed.

We met briefly for lunch and conversation and things went quite well. There was a definite chemistry and I was very pleased to see that he was exactly who he professed to be (such a lovely and genuine foot fetish恋物 — a strong sexual focus on one thing)and that his need to submit was indeed very real. We parted with the expectation that we would move forward with a relationship but by the next day he had reverted back to his previous level of fear and uncertainty.

In your experience, what causes a man who clearly has a great need to submit to allow fear to override such a strong desire?

A. People allow fear to rob them of many pleasures in life. This is not conclusive to the male gender. I had a close female friend who had a cruise scheduled but when the government raised the terror alert level, she canceled her cruise. I told her that the “terrorists” won if they can force people to alter their lives on just a vague, non-specific threat. Some people don’t go to Doctors out of fear of being diagnosed with something bad. Because of fear, parents smother their children to the point of negatively impacting a child’s social development.