Q&A Forum - October 2008 (Best of Elise)

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Q. Dear Elise, my husband has given me articles on teasing, denial and chastity禁欲 — being kept from orgasm issues to read from your website for quite awhile. I thought this was just a phase but it's not. He wants to be submissive顺从 — willing to obey to me and I really struggle with this whole concept sometimes. Then, other times I find it intriguing and fun. We have been married for 27 yrs. my husband is my soul-mate and my best friend. I believe he feels the same about me but we've had different ideas about sex and sexuality. He is curious, adventurous and uninhibited. I'm a polar opposite! I have read articles on teasing and orgasm高潮 — the sexual climax denial that he has shared but I don't feel confident nor do I have any creative ideas to try. It feels like I'm trying to be something I'm not sometimes.

I think the concept of being his femdom女性支配 — female domination is awesome and it makes me happy that he is willing to do whatever I want but I don't know because my lack of confidence and I know how frustrating it can be at times. I don't feel sexy therefore I can't act sexy......I'm well educated and have a degree in psychology but it's coming to the point that I feel maybe it's time to see a sex therapist who can shed some light on why I'm so inhibited and lack creativity when it comes to teasing and denial.

Sometimes it makes me uneasy and other times it's great! I know this sends mixed messages to my husband too! Any thoughts?