Q&A Forum - October 2012 (The best of Elise)

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Now here is where I feel you have made an erroneous judgment. When you found that you were at peace at your wife’s feet, pleasuring her through massage按摩 — rubbing the body to ease it, you went into subspace. That was intimacy. It may not be the traditional view of intimacy that your church holds but it was real and genuine intimacy. By your own admission you experienced intimacy with your wife through the female domination lifestyle. It was such a powerful experience that you were able to “extinguish” some of your former negative habits and ill-feelings you harbored toward your wife. You had negative emotions toward her perhaps because of your negative experiences with your mother. I don’t doubt that your wife is dominant (that is why you were drawn to her) but could it be that you bestowed your negative feelings toward your mother on to your wife? But when you began to embrace some forms of female domination, you lost yourself in your submission and you and your wife experienced intimacy.

The accountability that your support group provides is good for you but they cannot be there 24/7全天 — all day and every day. That is why Alcoholics Anonymous teaches people to depend on a Higher Power. No support group or counselor can be there with you all the time. But a wife can be there most of the time and that is why you need for her to be your ultimate source of accountability. God gave Adam a wife because even though Adam walked with God, he was still lonely and in need of a partner.