Q&A Forum - October 2012 (The best of Elise)

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A. Rather than taking these questions one at a time, I am going to address the overall premise of your questions.

You are struggling with your male ego. That is the common denominator in your questions. You are worried about losing self-respect, you are fearful about how you can look other men in the eyes, and you are having trouble reconciling the fact that you would be giving up control to your girlfriend.

In your way of thinking, it is perfectly natural for a man to spank a woman but the reverse causes all these problems. What needs to change is your perception of the natural roles of the sexes. You view yourself as dominant and your girlfriend as submissive顺从 — willing to obey. You insisted that you spank her because whether you will admit this or not, deep down you think men are superior and should be dominant. You hold to the traditional patriarchy model. You are the true fundamentalist.

However, the good news is that there is something on the inside of you that is telling you that there may be a better way. You have this underlying but growing desire to be dominated by your girlfriend. There is something about her that stirs some submissive顺从 — willing to obey feelings within you. You are fighting these feelings and you are trying to intellectualize these feelings, but they are there and that is why you visit my site and that is why you have written me.