Q&A Forum - September 2009 (The best of Elise series)

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Q. Dear Ms. Sutton, I want to thank you for the time and dedication you put into your insightful website. What I have learned from you has changed my life and, indirectly, it is changing my wife's too. Congratulations also on the publication of your wonderful book.

I have been following your teachings for the last year to draw out my wife's true dominant nature. She is very strong and assertive and has a dominating personality outside the bedroom, but due to her upbringing and a repressive society our sex life has always been very conventional and vanilla普通性爱 — sex without kink. Based on your guidance, I am doing my utmost to treat her like a queen at all times. This is natural to both of us and has come very easily.

Getting her to understand that sex is for her pleasure has been much more difficult. I want you to know, however, that your advice is right on target and we are making progress. For the past nine months, I have not had an orgasm高潮 — the sexual climax while we were making love without having first expressly asked for and received her permission to do so (after she has been completely satisfied). She is getting more and more comfortable with allowing me to give her pleasure or bring her to orgasm高潮 — the sexual climax without me necessarily getting a release. I can already see there will be a time, though, where she will start to understand the value of taking control of the rationing of my orgasms高潮 — the sexual climax. And this brings me to my question.