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I would suggest purchasing a trunk that can be locked, to put all of your D&S materials, tools, and clothing in. Make sure it is locked securely and keep the key somewhere you are positive that there is no way the kids could ever get to it. Then when the kids go to visit relatives and friends, it can be playtime.

It's not much different than all couples with children encounter when they want to have sex. Don't play if the kids are just next door and they might walk in on you. Make sure that there is no way they are coming home for the night, before you open up the trunk and play.

Your playtime will be much more important, since it will be rarer than couples without kids. The wife is going to have to make sure that she gets her husband's complete obedience during this playtime, so she can re-enforce to him how she wants him to behave around the children. Plus, assign him all of the necessary chores.

If the wife uses her playtime wisely, she can guarantee that her husband will show her the proper respect around the children and that he is an excellent father to them. If he ever does anything in rearing the kids that she doesn't approve of, she can address this during the next playtime. This will mean less arguing around the kids, which in turn means the kids will grow up in a peaceful and harmonious home.