Here's A Shock for Women

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By the time Rob Fitts completed a Ph.D. in 1995, his wife was on a fast track to partnership at Debevoise. "It just seemed silly to ask her to go to Potsdam, N.Y., for me to take a poor-paying teaching job," says Fitts, who got a job as an archaeologist. But because Sarah worked grueling hours

-earning a salary that dwarfed his-he left to spend more time with their two young boys; eventually he started a web-based Japanese baseball card business.

A conventional marriage made no sense for Bob and Kathleen Holmgren either. Although his marketing career was thriving, Kathleen, 44, was a true star at Sun, where she had been given founder's stock. (She is now SVP in charge of network storage.) His promotions would have relocated the family and derailed her. Three children later, Bob, also 44, became an at-home dad.