Real Life Stories - Entries for October 2010 (Best of Elise)

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For several years my husband dropped increasingly frequent hints about wives being in charge. I did not tumble to his hints as the concept was alien to me. We have been married 15 years and I have been the traditional wife--compliant, passive, and devoted to his comfort. He is a successful professional person well respected in the community. With others, at work and play, he projects a macho image; and previously, at home, I have viewed him in the same light . By contrast, I have always felt somewhat inferior. My education is less than his, and raising children delayed my modest occupational pursuits. Dependent upon his income, I have always viewed him as the alpha partner. This is my 3rd marriage and he is the love of my life. Prior husbands proved abrasive, even abusive, and I coped by adopting a passive low profile and nurturing a low self esteem. Never treated as an equal, my inferior self image was constantly reinforced. So you can imagine how unfathomable I found my husband's allusions. On one hand, I felt somewhat disillusioned that he might be less of a man than I had supposed. And, yet, at the same time I felt strangely intrigued.