Real Life Stories - Entries for October 2010 (Best of Elise)

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As his hints became more overt and compelling, I started to fantasize a bit about being more forceful, at least in bed. My fantasies excited me and I felt guilty on one hand, but rationalized on the other that these were his ideas. Eventually he enticed me to try some simple games in bed---blindfolds眼罩 — a cover for the eyes, light bondage捆绑 — being tied or restrained, me on top, etc. I was conflicted. I thought the activities perverse, yet I could not ignore the rush I got from being in control. Feeling embarrassed I tried to pretend uninterested, but he persisted.

A major turning point came one day during foreplay. He asked me to spank him. I tried, but my effort was brief and mild as I did not want to hurt him. I told him I did not like the idea. His huge, and poorly concealed, disappointment brought our sex play to a halt. I realized I needed to know why this was such a big deal to him. For the 1st time in our marriage I gave him an order (to the shock of both of us). I told him to fix drinks and that I then expected to hear the full extent of his fantasies. After nervously fumbling around the edges awhile he began crying (only the 2nd time I had seen him do so). He then blurted out that he had deep and long standing fantasies of being dominated by a woman who loved him, but that he was afraid to tell me since he feared I would then no longer love him. Between long moments of sobbing he told me that he constantly fantasized being made to be subservient to me, wishing I would forcibly take charge of him and our marriage.