Q&A Forum - June 2013 (Best of Elise)

Screen 3 of 30

The same goes with your situation. You make the decision as to which jobs you want your husband to perform around the house and then you delegate it to him to do it the best way based on his talents and skills. It would be no different if you hired a contractor. You tell the contractor what you want done and then you trust him to do it to your specifications. If not, he does not get paid. The contractor might be in charge of the project when it comes to the day-to-day operations but you are the boss because you have hired the contractor so you make the final decisions. So look at your husband as your personal contractor. You tell him what you want done and then he must plan the job and do the work to your satisfaction. You are the boss at all times and he works for you. Thus you are in the dominant role and he is in submission to you.

Now as far as him swearing at you when he gets frustrated or stepping out of line in social settings, that goes back to his attitude and that will always be a work in progress. None of us are perfect and it would be a mistake to expect your husband to be perfect at all times. But he should always strive to please you and when he fails, you should point it out to him the next time you have a session with him and he should be punished, he should apologize and he must strive to improve.