Q&A Forum - June 2013 (Best of Elise)

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I try not to micro-manage my husband. I used to do that in the early days of our D&S relationship but I have learned that the best way to deal with disobedience or negative male attitudes is during a weekly discipline session. I make mental notes (and sometimes I record an infraction in a notebook if it will be days before the next session) and I deal with it during the discipline session. We also refer to these sessions as “attitude adjustments”. Men need this because they live in a society that still tries to hold on to patriarchal ways and it is only human to be influenced by those we work with and socialize with. So it is common for a man to develop bad habits and wrong attitudes due to his interactions with other men. The attitude adjustment sessions help with this problem.

The beauty of a weekly discipline session (or it can be incorporated within your regular play sessions) is that it frees you from having to correct your husband in public and it prevents arguments. We have a signal that I use which only has meaning to us and I use that signal (it can be a word or a hand signal) when my husband does something in public that I disapprove of. This lets him know that he needs to cool it and that it will be dealt with in our next session. I like this method because it keeps him on his best behavior and it keeps him focused but I do not have to be a “Bitch” in public or around family and friends.