Q&A Forum - November 2018 (The best of Elise)

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A. The “real man” identifier is meant as a domination tool toward the husband and not necessarily a true evaluation of how women feel about different men. Calling a lover a “real man” is intended to humiliate the husband and take him further into submission through humiliation羞辱 — shame given on purpose play. The term “real” means “genuine and authentic”. It takes the patriarchal meaning of masculinity and uses it against the husband. The woman is saying, “OK, your gender has defined a real man as a masculine, strong stud so I think that is what I will take to bed since you are obviously a weak, powerless slave奴隶 — a person kept in total obedience in my presence.” It is a psychological mind game. It is manipulating the fragile male ego. It is playing with a man’s insecurities and in the process teaching him that the traditional view of masculinity is flawed.