Q&A Forum - September 2004

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It is kind of like the difference between a person who drinks socially and the person who is an alcoholic. Viewing and reading adult material can be a positive experience if the person’s motives are to enhance their reality based sex life. But when the porn becomes a person’s sex life, then they will have trouble relating to an actual sexual relationship. That is what has happened to you.

The good news is that you recognize this. I would highly suggest that you confess this to your wife and that you ask her to take measures to control this aspect of your life. Porn can become very addicting so mere willpower probably will not be enough for you to overcome this addiction. You need to be accountable to another person who will oversee you in this area. You need to be accountable to a woman. You need to accountable to your wife.

Sit her down and apologize to her for your habit of viewing porn behind her back. Tell her that you need her help. If she lacks the knowledge on what she can do, I have some suggestions for you to give her.

Tell her that she needs to assign you plenty of tasks around the house to keep you busy. That’s right! You may not like it but tell her that you need to be busy and that you need her to occupy your mind and time by channeling your sexual energy into serving the woman that you love.