Q&A Forum - January 2009 (best of Elise)

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So there are different expressions of love and different levels of love. Eros is love expressed physically. Philia is love expressed intellectually and emotionally (i.e. friendship) and Agape is love expressed spiritually. I believe we are triune beings and we can love and be loved on all three levels. Thus, I agree with your premise that D&S has the potential to provide a couple with the opportunity to bond on all three of these levels, spirit, soul and body. Romance and intimacy can exist on a higher plain for a committed couple that engages in a D&S relationship.

However, it would be wrong to assume that all D&S relationships are based in Eros (i.e. the physical). Complete strangers can be affectionate and engage in physical sex due to infatuation or physical attraction, without connecting in the Philia realm of friendship and compatibility. So it would be erroneous to confuse Eros with romance. True intimacy is about more than physical contact.