Q&A Forum - May 2014

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Recently I addressed a question from a man who said his wife has a fetish恋物 — a strong sexual focus on one thing to dominate and even hurt animals. I did not beat around the bush and I came right out and stated that this desire must never be acted upon. Such a desire is abnormal because she has no right to harm an innocent animal. I have no trouble separating the act from the person. Certain acts are universally morally wrong and people need to know that these acts are unacceptable and even criminal.

Obviously there are dangerous, unhealthy and in some cases criminal sexual behavior that must never be sanctioned. The person with these unhealthy desires needs counseling so that they never engage in them. Nevertheless, you must be very careful not to group practices and lifestyles that you do not agree with morally in with what is known perverted behavior. When counseling with someone who has what they perceive as a problem, it is vital that the counselor view this person as the special individual that they are. People have problems and people have wrong thoughts and sometimes people do wrong things, but in order to counsel and minister to a person, you cannot judge them. Yes, you can judge their behavior when it crosses the line but you cannot judge them. Unless you have lived their life and experienced what they have experienced, you have no right to judge their heart or their motives. For there but for the grace of God, sits you.